Laugh or Cry

I’ve seen a lot of doctors lately. I haven’t heard a lot of good news. My daughter, who’s asthma has been under control for years, is back at square one. Her pediatric pulmonologist left us with this message, “We will do the follow up lung X-ray in the spring if nothing gets worse. You shouldn’t come near a hospital for the next six months if you can avoid it.”

Our rheumatologist has reconfigured her office as a result of this pandemic. Her waiting room seats two spaced far apart. She doesn’t want anyone in there if they don’t need to be. She is frustrated. The current political climate has been an assault on the medical profession. People are distrustful of science and medicine – dangerously so. Elderly people who are at high risk for the disease are not social distancing and are avoiding masks as modeled by the President and his rallies. A rheumatologist has to counsel an 84 year old woman why she shouldn’t follow the President’s lead.

The final of many appointments was to my internist. He is young and optimistic. I so needed his optimism. However, he was also so incredibly candid. By the time I saw him, I was five weeks out from my test. He told me that I was heading into the COVID-19 sequela. The tail of the virus. Not everyone is blessed with this tail, but long haulers are.

I asked him when I should realistically expect to be on the other side of this.

Another couple of weeks?

Probably by the holidays.

Halloween?

You know, Christmas.

……fuck.

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