The Anger Phase

I am so angry today. I have no right to be. I survived this. I am alive. As of today, 200,000 people have passed from Covid-19 according to Johns Hopkins. I can’t even wrap my head around how we have let this happen month after month.

Covid survivors get very little in the way of support. Thankfully, my daughter and I have an amazing rheumatologist who is proactive and gave us a game plan. She connected us with other providers and told us to go easy on ourselves – we will be healing for awhile.

My 16 year old saw the rheumatologist and internist today. Friday she will see a pulmonologist. Friday I see an internist and eventually a neurologist. I call places and am told they won’t see me even though it’s been over four weeks since our tests. Today I had to lose my decorum with a scheduler just to get a pulmonology appointment. I am tired of being treated like I am not worthy of care!

I have ongoing chronic illnesses so none of this should surprise me, but I am so tired. Tired of always having to fight scheduling, appointments, doctors, insurance … and now with Covid everything becomes more complex. The victims shouldn’t have to fight!

My daughter was so sad today. She can’t be as active as she would like, and the Covid recovery has been long. She started crying at the doctor’s office about how mean people are, and the rheumatologist was truly an angel. She said, “You now know what it feels like to be openly discriminated against. You aren’t old enough to vote yet, but I bet you will remember this when it is your time to cast a ballot”. Amen, doctor, amen.

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